Heightened instincts and intuition make the Abstract Random gifted at reading signals that to others might be invisible. In addition, the AR is strongly motivated by the needs of others. Not just sensing them, but doing something about them. Innocuous questions such as, “Which show do you want to watch?” or “Which game shall we play?” or “What shall we have for dinner tonight?” often throw the AR into what looks like indecision. Even though the AR knows clearly what they want, they worry that in making the choice, they will be depriving their companions of their own preferences! Taken further, this care for the welfare of others stirs an AR to action and can form the basis of their chosen career. Attunement and harmony are highly valued by the Abstract Random. Harmony with those around them is important for the AR, and this results in an unwillingness to argue unless the topic is one that is vitally important.
The Abstract Random at School
This attunement to people carries over into the classroom where it impacts many facets of the child’s experience there. To the AR, all of life is about people and relationships. If they feel the teacher is not happy with them, they will be distressed. If the teacher takes a hard line with a child that the AR feels is overly harsh, they will become upset for that child. If the material being studied is not clearly related to the life of the AR, they will be unable to see its importance to their life. Many ARs drop out of classes that are technical and sterile and it is critical to show the importance of those classes as stepping stones towards achieving the final goal, which may be about helping people.
What Abstract Random Learners Need
- Frequent feedback (To answer the question, “Am I on the right track?”)
- Ability to use their creativity (“I know what you want, but can I do it my way?”)
- Teamwork and collaboration
- Acceptance and validation of their feelings
- Freedom from conflict
- Ability to be spontaneous
- Appreciation for their efforts
- Freedom from competition
- The ability to revise midstream once they have new information
- Personalized learning that allows them to use their strengths
- Relevance to people and to themselves
Sources of Stress at Home and School
- When people jump to negative conclusions
- Pressure to be more sequential
- Being alone
- Time limits, such as using a stopwatch to time their work
- Strict, inflexible schedules
- Having to be exacting with answers
- Having to finish one thing before starting another
- Being criticized unfairly or harshly
- Demands to prove their intuitions
Helping Abstract Randoms Achieve a Good Balance
One of the dangers of being an Abstract Random, as you might imagine, is that they can be susceptible to those who would take advantage of their good nature and desire to help. When leading AR children, while it is very important to affirm their desire to care for others, we need to teach them that it is also wise to draw lines in the sand over which another person should not cross.
Sometimes the only way to get this point across to the child is to not only show how this action will hurt them but to also show how it will not really help the other person either. For instance, the AR child will be alert to other students who ask for help with their work. It would be easy for the AR to become so involved in helping their classmate that they neglect to do their own work.
You can say, “It would be best for Jane to do her own work because if she doesn’t, she won’t learn the material and might fail the class." Care for Jane’s welfare might prove to be the tipping point that will teach them to guard against unnecessary “helping.”
When we understand our own learning styles and the learning styles of those we interact with, it has a profound effect on our interactions and relationships. If you would like to learn more about identifying learning styles, check out our blog, The Importance of Finding Your Child's Learning Style.
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